After another emotional day or week, do you wish you could switch your emotions off? Do you go through life an emotional wreck? Maybe you are the opposite type of person, and think that emotions make you weak. Do you then spend your life shoving those emotions deep inside you; putting a lid on them? Whatever type of emotional person you are, do you think life would be easier to deal with if you didn’t have emotions?
Let’s face it. Emotions can make your life either a virtual rollercoaster or a flat-line existence, right? If you didn’t have them, you would be able to make all your decisions a lot easier as you could strip out any emotional attachment to the outcome. You would be able to analyse, think and give an end result. You wouldn’t have to get upset, stressed or unhappy. You wouldn’t have to go through the anguish of feeling pain, guilt or regret.
The problem is you wouldn’t be able to feel happy, calm and ecstatic. You wouldn’t feel pleasure, pride or a sense of achievement. Your life would just be a process of analysis and result. You wouldn’t be able to feel love for ourselves or others. So you need to have emotions to feel alive. So what’s the actual answer to the problem of emotions?
The real problem with emotions isn’t the actual emotion. It’s the way you react to the emotion. It’s the way you handle the emotion. Some people don’t handle the emotion – it handles them. These people have a constant rollercoaster of emotions on a daily basis. One minute they are sad; the next happy. They may be laughing; then crying. Emotions are something that happens to them. Another type of person has a handle on their emotions, but the way they deal with them is to keep it inside, tightly locked inside their body. They don’t release it or show any reaction to it. This type of person spends each day alert and watchful, constantly stressed and ready to keep up their calm exterior. So what’s the answer?
If the real problem is how you handle and react to emotions, then the answer is to gain control of your emotions and how you react to them. Emotions are like your guidance system. They tell you what is and isn’t working in your life. They tell you whether you are moving away or towards what you want in life. What the ‘you’ deep inside wants to experience and feel in life. What your soul needs.
A positive emotion expands you, makes you feel bigger and better. It shows you that you’re moving towards what you want to feel; what makes you feel total. A negative emotion contracts you. It makes you feel small, uncomfortable; it shows you what you don’t want to experience and feel. It shows you what the inner you; your soul doesn’t want.
You have to connect with your emotions. Acknowledge them for what they are – your guidance system. They are actually there to help you. By tuning into, and connecting with them, you connect to the deep knowledge and inner guidance that is inside all of us. This will enable you to spot the early signals your body sends to you, before those deeper emotions rise. It will enable you to feel more in control of those emotions – rather than them having control of you. That rollercoaster ride will be a lot smoother as a result.
Then, once you have acknowledged why you are feeling a particular emotion, you have to let it out; let it go. Hanging on to your emotions and not letting them out is a sure-fire way to becoming a ticking emotional bomb. You cannot expect to bury emotions deep inside you, without them rising to the surface eventually. It might take a week, month or even a year or more, but eventually they will erupt – and in the meantime you will suffer by feeling stressed and depressed; tightly buttoned up and ever watchful of your actions and reactions.
Sometimes the very act of acknowledging that a particular emotion is there, and knowing that it is there to guide you, is enough. The emotion starts to rise; you acknowledge it and change your action or reaction to the situation that caused it. That’s all it was trying to get you to do. You might spend some time uncomfortable or sad – but I can guarantee it will be a lot less time than you would’ve spend on it, if you’d ignored it and then wallowed in it.
You have emotions so we can experience life. To totally experience it with all your being and with all your senses. Once you accept why we have emotions and how they help us, you can let them help guide you towards what you enjoy in life and towards living your full potential.
Hello,
how do you start connecting with your negative emotions?
Hi Sarah, I’ll be writing an article on connecting with your emotions in January. In the meantime you could write a list of those negative emotions and separate them into two sections – those that are linked to specific events; and those that are linked to specific people.