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5 behaviours that keep us stuck

behaviours that keep us stuckIn our quests for better lives, improved confidence or happier relationships, we all desire to move forward. We have these goals in mind and we’ll do whatever is needed, in order to reach them. However, there are also certain behaviours we may be guilty of using, that actually keep us stuck – and we tend to have a real hard job being honest with ourselves over them.

Being honest over our use of them is the key to moving forward. We need to acknowledge both the behaviour and our reasons for its use – and in the vast majority of cases, there’s at least one hidden benefit we’re getting from it. It’s these hidden benefits that are keeping us stuck in situations, lifestyles and particular relationships, we’d otherwise rather not have.

So what are the five behaviours that keep us stuck? Read More

What are you doing that doesn’t serve you?

what are you doing that doesn't serve youOur daily life can become something of a routine; we get up, work, eat and sleep. The problem with a routine is, well it can be so habitual. We go about our daily lives on autopilot, doing things we’ve always done, saying things we’ve always said and feeling how we always feel, just because it’s what we’ve programed ourselves to do – and this can be a real sticking point if you’re looking to change something, as we often end up automatically doing the very things that are no longer serving us.

If you’re looking to change a part of your life for the better, you need to stop running on autopilot and stop doing, saying and thinking things that don’t serve you – but how? Read More

How bad do things need to be, before you move forward?

move forwardThere are two motivations that will drive you to change any behaviour or circumstance – pain or pleasure. Pain will push us away from a situation, pleasure will push us towards it. We all have a natural preference for one or the other of these driving forces – and this is illustrated in the language we use (a pain driven person will focus on what they don’t want, a pleasure focused person will focus on what they do) – but, in order to move forward and to change any situation, we need to examine and utilise both.

This requires a large amount of honesty, as it can be really uncomfortable, acknowledging the associated things attached to the drive that isn’t our dominant preference. This is why, when we’re in a situation or circumstance that isn’t what we want, we can sometimes get frustrated with ourselves for not changing it and moving forward. Read More

Feelings: how do you want to feel (and what are you doing to make it happen)?

feelings how do you want to feelLet’s be honest, we’re all great at saying what we don’t want in our lives! When it comes to our feelings, the vast majority of us know how we don’t want to feel (useless, inadequate, worthless, for example) and we’re really good at vocalising this.

A smaller majority understand the importance of focusing on the things and feelings we want to attract into our lives. This group of people have thought about their feelings and gotten clear on what they do want and can vocalise those needs – to be more confident, stronger, to feel wanted, loved, needed.

If you fall into the latter group, you may well be patting yourself on the back for understanding both your needs and the importance of positive focus – but don’t be too hasty, just yet.

Regardless of which group you fall into, you may just be missing a crucial step – actually modifying your behaviour, in order to make those needs your new reality. Read More